In 2006, one of my favourite people, R, sent me and three other favourite people, an email entitled "A Crumb Has Ruined My Life." A couple of days ago, we got "The Crumb, Part II."
"A Crumb Has Ruined My Life" (2006)
By R.L.
Save me from myself.
My room: littered with papers, pens, pencil shavings, bottle caps, days old Starbucks cups, highlighters, trident gum wrappers on thedesk, floor, beside table, plates, utensils, sugar , remnants of food that I once enjoyed but did not make it fully to my mouth and now line the floor, desk, any place a crumb could find its way, it's there.
Now for the clincher.
Today: sit down to begin the tedious task of studying stats. I open my books. A crumb, or something that looks incredibly similar to a rolled oat, is found in between the pages. I pick it up and eat it. I PICK IT UP AND EAT IT. ONE SINGLE BLOODY ROLLED OAT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG?! Maybe it was still in there from one another stats student who, like me, likes to eat when studying, and accidently split his/her rolled oats. In fact, maybe it wasn't a rolled oat. Hell, its not like I examined it before I popped it in my mouth or anything. no no. My thought processes were as follows: Food. Eat. Now. ONE SINGLE CRUMB and my life is now over as we know it. I've gone to the dark side, show me thelight...soon... otherwise I fear the time of redemption is slowly closing and it may be too late for me.
"The Crumb, Part II" (2010)
I was sitting on the couch yesterday, snacking on some delicious coconut shrimp. I ate these with enthusiasm, dipping them delicately into a lovely spicy sauce, and lovingly eating them all.
Then I realized that I had eaten them all.
I was sad.
Then I looked down and saw a little morsel had dropped onto my sweatpants.
REJOICE!
I eagerly picked up this left behind, but not forgotten crumb, and hurriedly stuffed him into my mouth to enjoy!
