Thursday, October 16, 2008

University Administrators

In 1997, Hector Hammerly set down a long list of characterizations of university administrators. Below are ten of them.

These administrators, Hammerly said:
  1. Put their pants on one leg at a time, like everybody else, but think it would be demeaning to acknowledge it;

  2. Know as much about planning, budgeting, human relations, and conflict resolution as a pit bull;

  3. Have "zero tolerance" for others and total tolerance for themselves;

  4. Listen to professors attentively and graciously, like a cat listens to a canary;

  5. Believe there's no need for any democratic nonsense between rubber-stamp ballots;

  6. See "leadership" as looking down upon, sitting on top of, and stepping all over;

  7. Always support each other against those they fancy their "enemy" — faculty, staff, and students, no less;

  8. Have policies for every conceivable situation and regulations for every conceivable activity, but ignore them all when convenient;

  9. Are power-addicted, fairness-innocent, apology-challenged, and freedom-averse;

  10. Cow faculty members into not helping each other — which would be the professors' only hope for shaking off the yoke.
From: http://arts.uwaterloo.ca/~kwesthue/hhammerly.htm

And, we had an anonymous contribution for number 11:

11. Establish and maintain a network of informants amongst the staff to not only report on dissenters but also apprentice as future administrators.

Do we have any contributions for number 12?